The Picture of Happiness
I use to have it all.
Well I thought I did.
By the time I was 25 years old, I had just bought my second house, I was finishing off my second university degree and claiming that I was happy in my long term relationship.
We had just bought a dog and we appeared as though our young family was complete.
I’ve never been one for fancy dresses or the latest designer jeans, but if I had wanted to buy them, I could have.
People always surrounded me. In fact my suburban Gold Coast home was always on the brink of a good time.
Life was not taken too seriously – to say the least.
A bottle of red wine at dinner every night and some relaxants to comatose me into a deep slumber, was a part of my daily ritual.
There was plenty of drama surrounding me to keep me on my toes. It provided me with some good banter to throw around with my work colleagues, the following day.
I use to have it all.
Then It Hit Me
It wasn’t a quick hit. It was a hit that took about two years to register completely.
It felt like the first blow slapped me into a state of denial and then it took quite some time before I decided to nurse myself into recovery.
I was ridiculously unhappy deep down.
In fact I was so unhappy that I couldn’t bare the reality of my own life.
I had been running away from reality all these years and the very thought of it scared the absolute crap out of me.
I was in a rut. And I didn’t know how to get out of it.
For two years I thought about leaving him, but the very thought broke me. Seven years of being co-dependent and completely caught up in this volatile web of mutual-destruction, how could I bail now? How could I walk away from everything? It seemed like too much of an effort. And I blamed him for my unhappiness.
No one realised my unhappiness to its full extent. I had learnt to cover it well.
They all said it was a seven-year itch and it was normal to feel the way I did. Then I started to feel like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. All of a sudden I felt spouts of anxiety and my skin had broken out in a rash.
That should numb the pain.
But the body is too smart. The brain is too powerful. You can’t turn your back on yourself. The body will force you to come out of hiding and face reality. So eventually, I did.
Revenge Is Not As Sweet As You Hope
He didn’t deserve to be mistreated, yet either did I.
Both of us were broken and we had completely destroyed any loyalty that had been hanging by a thin string.
Everyone was shocked. Everyone pointed the finger. And everyone chose a side.
That’s when it was revealed that I didn’t have it all.
No amount of possessions, neat home-furnishings or money can make you happy.
It wasn’t up to him to make me happy either. It was up to me.
I wasn’t happy with who I was and who I had become. I had just gone through the motions and jumped on the expected path that society lays out in front of us.
It’s not until you face fear and decide to turn your back on what is comfortable and what is normal, that you start to truly see and feel happiness.
Was It Worth It?
It was a long lesson that had to be learnt. It wasn’t an easy one, but they never are.
Was it worth it? Absolutely.
At the age of 27 years I woke up in a spare room at my mum’s house and engaged in today’s episode of what seemed like the never-ending court battle
It was not exactly where I wanted to be. However, it felt right.
I eventually began to feel happy.
Looking Back and In
But now, waking up five years later, I look back at a life lesson that has changed me for the better. I can say honestly and whole-heartedly: I am happy.
If there is one piece of advice I would give anyone who is unhappy, then it would be this: if you are looking for happiness and haven’t yet found it, then it’s more than likely that you’re looking for it in all the wrong places.
Start from within.
You may not like what you see, but that is what life is about, challenging yourself to be a person that you fall in love with over and over again.
Who is Pia Therese?
Pia Therese is the founder and Head Fitness Coach at Melbourne Fitness and Wellbeing (MFW). MFW provides one on one personal and group training to Melbourne women who are just starting their fitness journey or have become out of touch with their fitness.
Pia is also The Real Body Coach. She helps real women achieve long-term, tangible health results. As The Real Body Coach Pia will is seeking a tribe of women sick of false fitness and health promises. Her new membership-based, weight-loss program aims to strengthen the mind and engage our commitment to health in order to build able, active bodies. The Real Body Coach will launch in September 2016.
For more information, go to: Melbourne Fitness and Well Being or Piatherese (coming soon!)